10 Reasons All Mum’s Should Love Halloween

Unless you’ve been walking around with your eyes closed recently you should know by now that it is nearly Halloween. I love Halloween. Despite it being an American holiday (though actually it’s origins are Irish). I love the tacky decorations, the cute kiddie costumes and the fact there’s lots of sweets in the house. Here is my list of why all Mum’s should love Halloween:

1) The spider webs in the house now count as Halloween decorations.

Fallen behind on the housework? It doesn’t matter. The spider webs and dust add a certain authenticity to the holiday (though annoyingly this excuse doesn’t wash when it comes to the laundry).

2) You can legitimately call your kids monsters without feeling like a bad parent.

Occasionally kids play up. The Toddler has a meltdown because you dared cut her sandwiches into squares instead of triangles and the Baby has been teething forever. You secretly whisper “for fucks sake” everytime before answering to your name but you can’t say anything bad about your kids without all the judgy mcjudgy Mums glaring at you. Well, this time of year you can call them monsters and not only will no one judge you they will likely even agree!

3) Sweeties!

Sweets in the house and FREE sweets being given out everywhere! Even better than that, it’s your duty as a responsible parent to go through all the Halloween bounty to make sure it’s safe. In some cases you may have to eat it to make sure you give it a thorough test. Parenthood is such a sacrifice sometimes…

4) You can finally scare the shit out of that little brat up the street.

We have a five year old up the street. We’ll call her Elouise. She’s the one who always shoves my Toddler in the park but then apologises so sweetly that you smile and say “that’s okay” while having mental images of chucking her in the pond. I’ve seen her kick the neighbourhood cats on more than one occasion plus she’s one of those obnoxious kids that tells other children that Santa isn’t real. I am so looking forward to Elouise coming to my door to Trick or Treat this year. I’m going to jump out on her while dressed as a skeleton and chase her down the street with a hatchet. Her scream is so going to make it worthwhile.

Obviously I’m not really going to do that but Elouise will definitely be getting the Funsize Mars Bar instead of the regular ones.

5) You can get the kids excited about eating apples.

Apple bobbing is a great tradition. It’s so much fun to watch the kids getting soaked trying to grab an apple in their mouths. They put so much effort into it and are so proud when they finally succeed that you have to hide a smile when they realise the prize is the apple.

6) You get to watch Hocus Pocus again.

I love this movie. Who doesn’t? However, I’m very aware it’s a kids film and adults are meant to be beyond watching childrens movies. However, how can it be avoided when it’s on so much over Halloween? Who cares if both girls are napping? You may as well watch it. Y’know, as it’s on.

7) Easy Halloween costumes.

I love the fact this holiday doesn’t have to cost you anything. One roll of toilet paper makes a decent Mummy costume. An old sheet with a couple of holes in it makes a pretty convincing ghost. That top the toddler stained with tomato sauce? Bam, zombie costume!

8) You can relive your childhood by bopping along to The Monster Mash and your kids are totally impressed that you know all the words.

Unfortunately this only works up to the age of about 10. Then your kids will be embarrassed by your knowledge of Boris and The Cryptkeepers but at that age the eye rolling comes with the territory anyway so carry on doing the Mash!

9) You get to watch your neighbours husband be dragged through the neighbourhood dressed as Peter Pan with a severely pissed off expression on his face.
He’s being pulled along by his young girls dressed as Wendy and Tinkerbell who are clearly loving it. Just as clearly Mr. Jones is not.

10) And you get to plan to do the same thing to YOUR husband next year when the kids are old enough to trick or treat. Mr. Jones got off lightly. I’m gonna make Mr. Adultier Adult be Tinkerbell!

Bwa ha ha haaaa.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Why Can’t My Daughter Like Thomas The Tank Engine?

The Toddler turned two last week and we had a little party at home with a buffet tea and a birthday cake. I went shopping that morning to get the food we needed and it was there I encountered problems. I stood in the birthday cake aisle looking at the different cakes. They had a pink Barbie cake or a pink Hello Kitty cake or a pink Peppa Pig cake. I picked up the Peppa cake when I saw they also had a Thomas the Tank Engine cake. The Toddler loves Thomas. Whenever she sees him she gleefully shouts “Thomas! Toot toot!” However, I hesitated. The Thomas cake was so obviously aimed at boys from it’s blue packaging to the fact Thomas is a train. I held both cakes and looked from one to the other. I actually agonised over which cake would be the better choice for my little girl! Then I gave myself a slap and defiantly thought “why shouldn’t my daughter like Thomas?” I put the Thomas cake in the trolley and went to pay.

 

The lovely girl on the checkout clocked the birthday cake and asked how old my little boy would be. When I told her my daughter would be two she glanced at the cake before telling me they did a nice Barbie cake for the same price. With a polite smile I explained I wanted Thomas, paid and left the store.
All the way home I couldn’t stop thinking about the cake and why it was such an important issue. The only difference between the Peppa Pig cake and the Thomas cake was food colouring! The icing was still thick, sickly and rather disgusting (as most kids birthday cakes tend to be). Both had the same basic sponge in the middle. Both contained a hell of alot of sugar. The only difference was Thomas was blue and Peppa was pink. When did everything become so gender defined?
The party went well and The Toddler loved her Thomas cake. She ate far too much sugar, got spoilt rotten with lots of lovely presents and flaked out completely at bedtime. However, that damn cake has opened my eyes to how gender specific children’s items have become. The fact that I hesitated over the cake shows I’m guilty of it too. Why are we limiting our children’s choices purely because of their sex?
If you stand in any kids clothing store you will easily spot the girls clothes. They are mainly pink and have princesses, rainbows and ponies on them. The boys side is predominantly blue with dinosaurs, pirates, trains and cars on them. What are we teaching our children? That boys can’t like ponies and girls will never be train drivers? What if my girls want to be paleontologists? Professional footballers? Mechanics? Why are we limiting these choices at such a young age?
Well, I say “screw it!” If my daughter wants to like Thomas then she can like Thomas and if that means I’ll be doing my Christmas shopping in the boys section then so be it. I intend to tell my girls they can be anything they want to be. They can be nurses OR doctors. The choice is up to them. I just hope the consumer world gets out of it’s ’50’s mindset and realises that gender doesn’t define people. Girls can like Thomas too!