Parenting Superpowers!

I’m not really a big fan of superhero movies but even I can enjoy the moment the hero of the piece gets his powers (normally through a “freak accident”. Seems like “freak accidents” are actually ridiculously common in the superhero world). One minute they are mild mannered Peter Parker and the next, boom! Superheroes. I don’t really undestand why along with all the cool powers comes the unexplainable need to pick yourself a wanky name and then go and get some lycra but maybe I just don’t get it.

Anyway, I remember the moment I became a superhero. The second my eldest arrived in the world I became a Mum and with that I was given a huge dose of Mum guilt, a lot of anxiety and the sudden ability to sleep while standing over a Moses Basket. However, I was also given my powers. I firmly believe all Mums are superheroes and we all have superpowers. Just remember, along with great power comes great responsibility. Here is a list of superpowers all Mums are given:

Super smell – All Mums have the ability to smell that a nappy needs changing in a room full of other babies. Even more impressive, they can tell which child it is from scent alone!

Super hearing – Mums can hear the slightest movement from their babies from three rooms away while lying next to a snoring husband. They are especially sensitive to the sound of silence (oh yes, silence has a sound!) and can tell if it’s “I’m just quietly colouring” silence or “I’m spreading Sudocrem on the cat” silence.

Healing Kisses – The amazing ability to heal even the scariest boo boos with a single kiss. For really bad ouchies like splinters, two kisses and a cuddle may be required.

Omnilingualism – This is the power to instantly speak and understand any language fluently and okay, maybe Mums don’t have this entirely but they can definitely understand Toddler babble when no one else can.

I was changing The Baby earlier while my husband put The Toddler to bed in the other room. I heard The Toddler say “Daddy, me kissy an shugs an tuck tuck Baze!” I heard his confusion so called through “she wants a kiss and a hug and for you to tuck her in. Then she wants you to do the same for her soft toy kitty, Blaze.” It was perfectly clear to me.

Superhuman Strength – The ability to carry The Baby in the carseat, The Toddler on your shoulders, the changing bag and six bags of shopping up three flights of stairs in a single trip.

Precognition – Mums can see The Toddler falling off the toybox seconds before it happens or can tell that sticking a piece of lego up your nose is a bad idea before you even do it.

Super speed – The alarm doesn’t go off but Mum somehow manages to get everyone out the door and to nursery on time AND she remembers the lunches.

I say Mummy Superpowers but Dad’s seem to be given most of these as well. Okay, Mr. Adultier Adult super hearing doesn’t seem quite as sharp (suspiciously?) and his Omnilingualism is out of whack but he has one of the best superpowers of all… The Dreaded Daddy Voice! He can freeze any of the kids and the cat without even raising his voice! He just drops it down low and instant obedience! Dad’s are definitely superheroes too.

What is your superpower? If you could have any superpower in the world what would it be and why?

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